Let’s Hiply This - Podcast
Hiply Language of Love
The new, hip, kind language of love and peace.
Based on NVC, IFS, Loving Kindness
I have a vision of a world where we know deep down that conflict is an opportunity for growth, connection and ultimately peace.
If all negative behavior stems from unmet needs: What if all our needs can be abundantly met, by ourselves and by those around us? We are able to create peaceful and loving win-win situations instead of blamy judgmental defensive fights.
We have been taught and are extremely practiced in the tragic use of blamy language. We believe that things are either right or wrong, good or bad, true or false. Turns out, things are more nuanced than that. If I say I’m right then you’re wrong, I’m good, you’re bad, that leaves no room for compromise and promotes blame, guilt and shame. We are so practiced in the idea that if we feel bad we look for someone (either us or someone else to blame) so we can feel better. What if all we need to do is feel our feelings without judgment? We can speak Hiply to ourselves. And then to others.
Our speech can cause a lot of suffering with unkind, untruthful, or violent words. Mindfulness and compassion means that you intend to listen with only one intention—to help the other person suffer less. After we have deeply listened and allowed the other person to express everything in his heart, we’ll have a chance later on to give the other a little of the information they need to correct his perception—but not now.
Welcome to Hiply - not just a new language of love but a new way of being, feeling and promoting peace, compassion and love. Learning to be fluid in a new language takes time and practice. Have patience with yourself and others.
I invite you to listen to my podcast to learn and practice Hiply with us. Stay tuned.
Sending love and light, be kind to yourself and those around you.
Claudia
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou
Contact me to practice Hiply with me on the podcast!
Claudia Williams Coaching - Durango.Colorado
970 749 3555
hiplylol@gmail.com
Definitions
Hiply
1/ Noun - Language of peace, connection and love
2/ Verb - Using the Hiply language. A caring and empathetic way to love, listen and speak to self and others - feels like a warm fuzzy blanket put around you.
Example // Let’s hiply this,
3/ Noun - A feeling, mostly content/happy while also allowing for other feelings to be present at the same time. We can be joyful and feel sad or worried at the same time and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal and part of being human to feel a range of feelings at any moment. It’s the “authentic” way to say “I’m fine”
Example // How are you? Hiply - still feeling the grief of my cat dying last month
4/ Noun - A state of well-being - deep comfort, connection, safety and content, think sitting in front of a warm fire with loved ones around you, a warm drink in your hands, while it’s snowing outside.
Example // Let’s have a hiply evening on the couch. Or Wow, this is so hiply.
Self Hiply
1/ Verb - Showing love and hiply to all our parts, using hiply language internally. Getting cozy and comfortable, feeling hiply.
Example // I’ve had a great weekend of self hiply.
Tar
1/ Noun - opinions, judgments, evaluations, criticism, name calling, any form of violent communication.
Example // My inner critic is spewing tar at me and I’m listening with compassion and curiosity.
2/ Adjective (Tarry) - nuanced feeling of mental suffering from suffering, caused not so much from the situation but the thoughts about the situation. To be stuck in an undesirable thought loop when core needs aren’t met, such as safety, connection, freedom and love.
Example // Are you tarry because you can’t stop thinking about the breakup?
Deep Listening
1/ Concept - Listening with curiosity and Hiply, with the only intention of reducing the other person's suffering. This is how we get the connection and love and freedom we need and desire. Keep tar out of your comments, focus on only listening and understanding the other person. You’ll have a chance to speak your piece once things go down.
Example // I’m feeling tarry, please help. - meaning please listen deeply with the only intention to help me release my suffering.
Loving Speech
1/ Concept - Speaking hiply focused on facts, feelings (I statements), needs and wishes/requests, avoiding tar and promoting peace. This is the last step, only after everyone is calm and feeling hiply. More soon.